Five Stages of Grief

The Kübler-Ross model describes, in five stages, the process by which people deal with grief and tragedy. The model was introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying. The stages have become known as the "Five Stages of Grief." At the time, psychoanalysts believed that their responsibility was to usher the bereaved patient through the stages in order to expediate their arrival at acceptance. Currently the stages are regarded as too simplistic and in arbitrary order (most people move back and forth between the stages, or skip certain stages altogether).

1. Denial
"This can't be happening to me. He can't really be gone." Denial is a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, reality, etc., relating to the situation concerned. Some people can become locked in this stage when dealing with a traumatic change that can be ignored.

2. Anger
"How could I let this happen? How could they do this? How could you leave me?" Anger can be directed towards oneself, culpable people, God, and/0r the deceased person.

3. Bargaining
Bargaining is typical with people dealing with trauma such as a break-up ("Can we start over? Can we still be friends?") or a terminal illness ("Just let me live to next year.") In cases of grief over the death of a loved one, bargaining can take more desperate and irrational forms, such as negotiating with God for the return of the deceased person.

4. Depression
Symptoms of depression include intense feelings of sadness and regret, preoccupation with dying, suicidal thoughts, slow movement and speech, lack of energy or motivation, inability to function in social situations or to complete normal day-to-day tasks, hallucinations of the deceased person.

5. Acceptance
Acceptance is the beginning of the healing process, in which the bereaved person acknowledges the finality of the loss and is able to start to move on emotionally from the depression stage.